So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
