I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
