Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
