you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
