Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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