matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
