he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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