I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Randomize
