based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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