He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
