I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
