One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize