those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
babies were throwing up all over the place
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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