Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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