Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
