Your face is a jimmy john
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize