party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
