The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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