Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
