So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
