Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
