I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
