Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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