and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
