obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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