Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
