Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
