You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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