im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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