just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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