i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
