No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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