I hate your face
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Ladies don't puke and tell
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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