you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
