In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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