If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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