I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize