I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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