I'm really into asian looking animals
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
