I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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