so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
