wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
