He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I did not marry a roomba.
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