My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize