We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
