It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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