I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
