Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Too much gin, very little bucket
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
