this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
NoShamevember. You game?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize