dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
