Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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