Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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