I hate your face
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
