You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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