I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
