I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
