check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize