So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize