You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
