butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You made out with two different species that night
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
