His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
