a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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