i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize