would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
