Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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