Is it normal to miss your booty call?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
